The Inflatable Strategy

In May of 2010, there was a union protest that ran for about two weeks in front of the Verizon building in Lexington on Waltham Street.  I don't know what the beef was, but the protesters had a large inflatable rat in the bed of a pickup truck.  I don't have a picture of that exact rat, but it looked just like this one - they are in common use around the country for union protests.

Those protesting the arbitrary and capricious Willard's Woods leash restrictions could rent a rat, but they might be the target of union protests for stealing sacred symbols.  Probably it would be better to get a real dog inflatable.  They cost around $1500.

Like most protests and events involving over-sized inflatables, this could backfire.  In 2008 in Berne, Switzerland, artist Paul McCarthy's giant inflatable dog turd broke loose from its mooring and knocked down some power lines.  World headlines carried various versions of "Giant dog turd wreaks havoc at Swiss museum"

Basketball Dog Betrayal

Dear Lexington,

All of Northeast Massachusetts and dog supporters wherever you may be tonight;

The Conservation Commission has voted to close Willard's Woods to unleashed dogs on weekends for a 6 month trial starting in September 2010.

This was announced with a several-month, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a local cable access TV special of the "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of dogs and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team (i.e. the voters) and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Fans of Willard's Woods have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:


"I personally guarantee that the Fans of Willard's Woods will win an NBA Championship before the self-titled Conservation Commission wins one."

You can take it to the bank.  (Take your choice of the thirty of so polluting the urban landscape.)

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Lexington, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously known and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our homegrown "appointed ones" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Lexington, Massachusetts. The Conservation Commission will be taking the "curse" with them into the winter. And until they do "right" by Lexington and Massachusetts, the Conservation Commission will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Lexington. Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day...

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU AND YOUR DOGS the unleashed freedom you have long deserved and is long overdue...

Fans of Willard's Woods